Blame
by Yami Dragoness of Dark
Summary: It was his fault, everyone said so. Everyone...but him, but the one he wanted to hear blame him more than anyone. Too bad Yamamoto is too kind to blame Hibari. 8018. For Boo-chan's contest


Round three has arrived and with it, the next pairing. Yama with Hibari was so FUCKING HARD to write, especially hurt/comfort...but I think I did okay...hopefully ;A;

Title: **Blame**

Summary: It was his fault, everyone said so. Everyone...but him, but the one he wanted to hear blame him more than anyone. Too bad Yamamoto is too kind to blame Hibari. 8018.

Rating: M for language

Genre: Romance, angsty, hurt/comfort

* * *

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

Tsuna glared at the accursed machine as it continued to do its work. Up down. In out. Inhale exhale. Inspiration expiration. _Hiss shuwsh_. It's all he heard nowadays. That and hushed whispers and silence. He could _hear_ the silence clawing at his eardrums. Eardrums so used to laughter and yelling, screaming and fighting, explosions and loud bangs, odd thuds and crashes. This _silence_ was worse than anything he had ever heard before! It was driving him crazy!

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

"Fuck…" He put his head in his hands, thumbs pressing into his ears to block out that annoying respirator and the bloody fucking silence!

It was his fault. All his fault. He should have sent the Varia to do this mission, or sent Lussuria or Ryohei with them. He shouldn't have let them go at it alone, without backup. It was a foolish decision, one that would haunt him forever because he might have very well killed his best friend with the stupid decision. And what hurt worse was that no one was blaming him! They were blaming Hibari, who was completely innocent!

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

Flames engulfed his hands. With a roar, he threw a punch at the blasted machine. Barely an inch from the fucking thing, a hand grabbed his wrist, halting his fist. "That would be foolish," a baritone voice growled. Tsuna blinked and looked up into the charcoal black eyes of his x-tutor, Reborn. "That is the only thing keeping him alive right now." Their eyes trailed away from each other to stare at the figure lying on the hospital bed.

Yamamoto Takeshi lay upon the white hospital bed, draped in a white hospital gown and covered with white sheets. Skin pale as virgin snow, hair twice as messy as usual, wrapped in bandages with stitches keeping the wound over his right eye closed. He looked dead, lying so still on the bed, with the eye smarting white sheet tucked almost lovingly over his entire frame, form shoulders to toes. Tsuna feared leaving the room for more than a few minutes, because he was certain when he returned, his best friend's face would be covered by the blanket as well. He couldn't take that.

"Tired of hearing it," Tsuna whispered, shoulders shaking as he tried hard not to cry. It was easy to put up a front with the others, friends and well wishes who came to see the very popular Yamamoto. But now, in front of the one person who knew Tsuna better than himself, a mask was useless. He didn't bother trying to fake a smile. When Reborn put an arm around him, he buried his face in the taller man's shirt and cried.

"Come on Tsuna," sighed Reborn, once his old student had cried himself out. "Let's go home. We'll come back later."

"But…but…" he hiccupped, and let out a soft sob. "Wh-what if he…he da-da-dies!?"

Reborn shook his head and led Tsuna towards the exit. He nodded to the nurse on duty who nodded back. "He won't die. He's waiting for someone."

"Who?"

"You know who."

.

.

.

It was dark and cold. Nothing but a black tunnel, though he wasn't sure it was a tunnel. All he could see was a simple brick path that kept going on and on and on and on. And darkness. A darkness that was as endless as the night sky. There was nothing else to do. No point sitting on the path, which is what he had been doing when he woke up in this place. So he stood and walked forward, a strange rhyme repeating over and over in his head.

_Walk on forward_

_Walk on by_

_Till the tears spill from your eyes_

_And as the skylark cries above_

_Your spirit will rest on the feathers of a dove._

_The pipes are playing_

_The drums are beating_

_Come with us and we'll go fishing_

_And in the pond you'll find your path_

_That leads you to your rightful cast._

It made no sense, and he wasn't even sure where the rhyme was from, if it was even a real one. But it kept repeating itself over and over and over and over as he walked and walked and walked down the path.

A wind blew. For the first time since he had arrived at this strange place he felt something and shivered. It was cold. Dark, and cold, and lonely. He didn't like this. He wanted…someone…

_Come with me and hold on tight._

He looked around, startled.

_We'll dance away into the night._

Another, strong breeze blew past.

_And as I sing you'll die away._

Something cold gripped his heart.

_Scattered in the winds of May._

The last part was whispered in his ear. He yelled and pulled himself free, running as fast as he could. He didn't want to die! He couldn't! He had to find that person. His skylark!

_Come with me, I'll hold you tight!_

He stumbled and scraped his knee.

_And drag you far from the shores of light!_

No. No. No! Noo!

_Who do you search for?_

_Who do you love?_

_They'll vanish from your sights real soon._

_So come with me, away from the light._

_Join me in wonderland's dark night!_

Go away! He screamed, truly terrified. Go away! Leave me alone!

_Skylark, skylark alone in the sky._

_Flying high, flying low_

_Falling prey to the hunter's bow._

_Watch him fall, watch him bleed._

_Can't escape his destiny._

Nooo! Kyoya!

He dived off the path and scrambled to his feet, running through the darkness that now blinded him completely. He couldn't feel, couldn't see, couldn't smell. The only sense still working was his hearing. And oh, how he wished it wasn't.

Kyoya where are you!?

.

.

.

His room was dark and musty, having been left completely closed off from the outside world for two weeks now. He didn't leave his room. Refused to eat, refused to drink, refused for the windows to be opened and let in light and fresh air. The only person he gave a fuck about was dying in a hospital because he had been overconfident and acted like a foolish herbivore!

A knock on the door.

"Go the fuck away," he called, his voice hoarse from disuse.

The door opened anyways. Hibari growled and burrowed deeper under his nest of blankets. The person entered, slid the door shut, and waited. "Hibari…"

"Go away herbivore," he hissed.

A pause then, "I can't do that. Yamamoto needs you."

"I assure you, he doesn't need me anymore."

"He's not dead!" cried Tsuna, glaring at his cloud guardian. "He's alive! He's waiting for you to come and see him so he can wake up!"

"You mean so he can die as I watch."

"He couldn't do that to you," Tsuna whispered, tears spilling from his eyes again. "He…he l-l-loves you t-t-too much."

Hibari shook his head and refused to budge. It was his fault. If he had just waited to check the room. If he hadn't run in without a thought. He had been stupid. Foolish. He was an idiot. The ambush wouldn't have worked if he hadn't fallen into such an easy trap. And Takeshi had warned him even. He didn't want to go see the results of his failure. He didn't want to see his lover lying on a hospital bed, dying. He didn't deserve to see him anyways.

"At least come to get your wounds redressed," Tsuna begged. "You haven't left here in two weeks. You haven't bathed, or eaten properly or drank much of anything. You'll die."

"So be it."

"…Yamamoto wouldn't want that and you know it."

He wouldn't cry. Crying was for the weak.

"…I will have my wounds redressed and that is it."

.

.

.

As it turned out, the moment he had left his room, Hibari had been jumped by a number of people, including other guardians, drugged, and dragged to the hospital, where he was given a proper bath, and forced onto a bed. They strapped him down and connected him to IVs to replenish his lost fluids and nutrients. He growled, and struggled, and fought, but the restraints were too tight and he was stuck.

"You'll stay here for the next week for monitoring," a doctor told him. "Your wounds are infected. We can't have you dying from something so stupid as an infection that could have easily been prevented." And just to add salt to the wounds, they put a ankle bracelet on him which, if he tried to leave the hospital, would administer a sedative that would knock him out before he got down the driveway. "You're free to walk around." And almost as an afterthought, he told him, "He's in room 305."

Hibari scoffed and looked away.

White. The hospital room was completely white. The bed, the sheets, the walls, the ceiling tiles, the lights, the floor, every fucking thing in the room was an eye smarting white. After two days of it, he left, with the intention to find a better place to rest instead that fucking sterile room.

They had placed him in 354. The opposite end of the hospital from 305. Good. He couldn't, wouldn't go there. If he did, all he would find was his Takeshi, dying, and people. The people were perhaps worse than the dying Takeshi. Because Takeshi couldn't, wouldn't blame him. The people did. He heard them talk when he limped to him room after getting home from the hospital the first time. Whispers of how he had fucked up. About how it was his fault. They didn't say he, but he knew the other guardians felt the same as well and anything they said to the contrary was a fucking lie!

_Kyoya!_

Hibari stopped dead, putting a hand to his head. He had heard something…someone calling him.

_Kyoya where are you!?_

The voice rang in his head like the bells of Notre Dome, loud and painful so near the source. Both hands now held his head. A nurse noticed him and called out. He couldn't hear her. Someone was screaming his name, calling for him. His head hurt so badly.

_Sparrow, sparrow flying high_

_So high up in the sky_

_Watch yourself or you will find_

_There is no shot better than mine_

_Kyoya!!!!_

He was out cold before he hit the tiled floor.

.

.

.

Blackness. Darkness. Emptiness. Hibari looked around with distaste. Such a dreary place. He disliked it very much. Now why was he here?

Kyoya!

The voice…Takeshi, he called out, looking around. He only saw blackness. Come out or I shall bite you to death!

_Twinkle, twinkle little star_

_How I wonder what you are_

_Up above the world so high_

_Like a bird in the sky._

Now that wasn't right. It was diamond, not bird.

_But you aren't looking for a diamond,_" whispered a voice. _"You're searching for a bird. So is he. You're both sad little birds, searching the whole wide sky for each other. So romantic._

Where is he?

_Where is who?_

Where is Takeshi?

_Don't know._

The fuck you mean you don't know!?

_I mean I don't know where he is. You do though. The doctor told you._

No! He's here! I heard him!

_And you hear me, a little voice in your head. Now what does that say about your sanity?_

Fuck you.

_No thanks, however, I think he misses you enough to do you. Wake up and find him._

I can't…I won't.

_Well at least you know the difference between the two. Now why won't you?_

…

_Come, come, I haven't all day._

It's my fault…my fault he's hurt…my fault he's dying. And for the first time tears spilled from his eyes. My fault…my fault…

_Who says?_

Everyone!

_That's just talk. I think the only person whose opinion really matters is Takeshi's._

He can't give it.

_Can't he? Go visit him. You'll be surprised._

But…

_Enough talk. Time to wake up._

He blinked and hissed, shielding his eyes from the harsh light of a doctor's pocket flashlight. "Good, he's awake. Are you alright sir?"

Hibari didn't answer, just pushed the doctor and other worried hospital staff away from him, slapping away any and all hands that reached to help him stand. "Leave me alone!" he snapped, stumbling to his feet. He grabbed hold of his IV stand, and using it to keep himself up, limped away.

.

.

.

The room was just like his. Too white. And empty of all life except for the man lying on the hospital bed, still as death. Hibari sat on the edge of the bed, since it was closer to the door and his legs had begun to shake. He wouldn't fall again. Falling due to weakness was for herbivores. He wouldn't not be a herbivore.

Takeshi continued to lie there, still and quiet.

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

Such annoying sounds the respirator made. He wanted to break it. But it was keeping Takeshi alive. He couldn't break it until it was no longer needed.

When would that be?

When Takeshi was awake…

When Takeshi was dead…

Air caught in his throat. Hibari put a hand to his mouth to hide his quivering lip. He wouldn't cry. That was for the weak. For herbivores. He wasn't weak. He wasn't an herbivore. He glanced at the pale face of his lover. Nothing moved. Nothing changed. This was stupid! Why was he here? To watch this baseball loving idiot di…

A new sound broke the silence of the room that the _Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._ Couldn't. A soft sob.

Fuck! He thought, hiding his face in his uninjured right hand. Fuck this! Fuck it all. He wanted to pain to stop. He wanted Takeshi to wake up. To tell him it wasn't his fault. To tell him it _was_ his fault. Anything!

"…orry…'m sorry," Hibari murmured, his voice oddly steady despite the tears pouring down his cheeks. "Sorry…"

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

Stupid machine.

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

He'd bite it to death for being so annoying.

_Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh. Hiss. Shuwsh._

"…an we…turn that…off…please…"

"No, it's keeping you alive herbivore."

"…m'kay…"

…

..

.

O_O

"The fuck!?" Hibari jumped from the bed, staring down at the occupant. Yamamoto Takeshi gave him a weak grin and a sleepy wave.

"Hi Kyoya."

Hibari stared at his lover long and hard before turning towards the door.

"Wait! Wait, Kyoyaaaaaa~ why are you leaving?"

"Because you were faking it all along you stupid herbivore. And I'm too tired to bite you to death," snapped Hibari.

Yamamoto laughed, "No I wasn't. I just woke up. I heard your voice and you crying…it was really dark before than. But when I heard your voice, I followed it, and ended up here."

"I don't believe you. I hate you. Please return to your coma and this time die!"

"Ha-ha, I love you too."

.

.

.

A week later, Yamamoto was released from the hospital. Everyone threw him a party upon his return home. Maids, butlers, subordinates, allied families, everyone came to give the swordsman a clap on the shoulder and a cheerful congratulations for a speedy recovery. The only one who didn't attend was Hibari. No surprise. He heard the whispers of the people about his lover. About how it was the cloud guardian's fault that he had ended up in a coma for two weeks and for the new scar across his right eye and cheek. Hibari's absence in light of these hurtful whispers and hateful looks was understandable. Which is why halfway through, Yamamoto excused himself to use the bathroom, took the third right instead of the second and slipped into the secret passage that led to Hibari's private rooms.

"Kyoya," he called out, exiting the passage. "Kyooooyaaa!"

"Shut the hell up idiot," growled a voice from the depths of the dark room. "Aren't you supposed to be at a stupid party?"

"I left," he replied, walking over to the bed. He fell onto it, and grabbed the figure lying there amongst the blankets. "Prefer to be with you." He kissed his lover's pale cheek and grinned with it turned pink. "Besides, I'm horny."

"I did not need to hear that. Leave now. Return to those fuckers before they blame me for stealing you away from the party." The venom in his voice wasn't lost on Yamamoto, who sighed and held his beloved closer.

"Is that what your seclusion is all about?"

No response.

"I don't blame you," Yamamoto whispered, shifting so Hibari was pulled flush against him. "It wasn't your fault, and they weren't there with us, so their opinion doesn't matter." He intertwined their fingers together and smiled gently. "So please stop this self punishment. It'll do horrible things to our sex life."

"Horny bastard." But the cloud guardian turned around and buried himself deep within the other guardian's embrace. "You better make it worth my time."

"Oh I will."

.

.

.

-Omake!!!!-

"See," Yamamoto said, grinning, "I told you I'd make it worth your time."

Both Hibari and the baby in his arms glared at the swordsman, Hibari because he had just gone through nine months of hell and twenty-four hours of pain, the baby because she _did not_ approve of being woken. "I hate you. And I shall bite you to death when my innards are back in their proper place again."

Yamamoto just laughed and pulled his 'wife' into a loving kiss, which, after a moment, the wife returned. The baby cast her parents one last annoyed look before curling up and going back to sleep.

* * *

O.o ooooooo fuck, can't believe I wrote this much! Stayed up till 1 in the morning writing this! DX

Oh well, I AM DONE!!! And not a moment too soon =.= nighty night Shrimp time.

R&R


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